We were grabbing a bite of lunch at a small cafe, in a mall, right across from a booth that sold jewelry and where ears could be pierced for a fee. A mother approaches with a little girl of six or seven years old. The little girl is clearly stating that she doesn’t want her ears pierced, that’s she’s afraid of how much it will hurt, that she doesn’t like earrings much in the first place. Her protests, her clear ‘no’ is simply not heard. The mother and two other women, who work the booth, begin chatting and trying to engage the little girl in picking out a pair of earrings. She has to wear a particular kind when the piercing is first done but she could pick out a fun pair for later.

"I don’t want my ears pierced."

"I don’t want any earrings."

The three adults glance at each other conspiratorially and now the pressure really begins. She will look so nice, all the other girls she knows wear earrings, the pain isn’t bad.

She, the child, sees what’s coming and starts crying. As the adults up the volume so does she, she’s crying and emitting a low wail at the same time. “I DON’T WANT MY EARS PIERCED.”

Her mother leans down and speaks to her, quietly but strongly, the only words we could hear were ‘… embarrassing me.’

We heard, then, two small screams, when the ears were pierced.

Little children learn early and often that ‘no doesn’t mean no.’

Little children learn early that no one will stand with them, even the two old men looking horrified at the events from the cafeteria.

Little girls learn early and often that their will is not their own.

No means no, yeah, right.

Most often, for kids and others without power, ”no means force.”

from "No Means Force" at Dave Hingsburger’s blog.

This is important. It doesn’t just apply to little girls and other children, though it often begins there.

For the marginalized, our “no’s” are discounted as frivolous protests, rebelliousness, or anger issues, or we don’t know what we’re talking about, or we don’t understand what’s happening.

When “no means force” we become afraid to say no.

(via k-pagination)

(Reblogged from 2bi2handsofblue)

officialheinzdoofenshmirtz:

behold, it is i, the evil social justice warrior, here to ruin your fun by pointing out that you’re being kind of an asshole

(Reblogged from enbyegbert)

red flags

moopflop:

  • calling the legitimate anger of oppressed people “drama” or “hate”
  • referring to allocation of human rights as simply “politics”
  • referring to basic human empathy as “political correctness”
  • the childlike refusal to admit mistakes and throwing a literal tantrum
  • "it’s just my opinion"
(Reblogged from officialdaddyegbert)

cyanidegrrrl:

liberal feminism is so useless and constantly praises women using the patriarchy to their advantage versus dismantling it like it’s not shocking tht it’s so easy to be a libfem cuz you don’t have to change or examine your behaviors at all you just gotta say that you feel empowered and basically value your personal agency over destroying a system tht is failing all women 

(Source: chlorineblondie)

(Reblogged from isitbatman)

fancyphobic:

Okay imma make a fucking rant cause I’m pissed.

I keep seeing these posts like ” -privliged group- arent the problem, assholes are. And you better not generalize -privliged group- because then you’re the asshole”

No.

Stop.

When you see an oppressed person saying shit like “I hate -privliged group-” They are expressing their hatred at the system that oppresses them. A system that strips them of fair pay, good treatment in the medical system, rights to their own bodies, rights to their safety, and has been depriving them of such things from the day they were born. So yeah, maybe they do hate a certain group and the power they hold that constantly negativley effects their life every fucking day.

So, I can understand having hurt feelings seeing negativity thrown towards your privlige. But stop and think, recognize where this anger is coming from, listen. Its the people who dont recognize their privlige who keep making these posts and its pissing me off.

And if you are in a position of privlige, and you have the audacity to essentially tell oppressed people to shut up when talking about their own expiriences because it makes them ‘assholes’

Then you can kindly fuck off.

(Reblogged from androgynistic)

thisisnotjapan:

When white people get called out on racism they always make it about them like: "I’m SO HURT that you would say I’m a racist!” 
Could you be hurt that you participated in something that gets people killed, sexually assaulted, and a whole bunch of other things on a wide scale? Could you feel sorry for somebody other than yourself in this situation? No?

(Reblogged from androgynistic)

introtofeminism:

i didnt mean to become an angry feminist it just sort of happened because i looked out my window and woke the fuck up y’know

(Source: )

(Reblogged from lipstick-feminists)
Telling a young girl she can’t wear what she wants because it’s not appropriate encourages the idea that men’s reactions should dictate society’s norms, and that all women are meta-Eves, tempting and ensnaring men with our sultry-eyed gaze. My parents’ culture is steeped in patriarchy, in the philosophy of the one-step machismo machine, where there is just one kind of man, and two kinds of women: the angel and the whore. These limited ideas of masculinity breed men who want ownership of women.
Fariha Roison  (via albinwonderland)

(Source: voirsully)

(Reblogged from albinwonderland)

pervocracy:

postwhitesociety:

hm

I think the “women are mysterious” thing can also come from:

1) Women actually being quite clear, but not telling men what they want to hear.  ”She said she doesn’t want to talk to me?  So many mixed messages and confusing signals!”

2) Women not having cheat codes.  ”I tried being nice, and she didn’t have sex with me.  I tried being an asshole, and she didn’t have sex with me.  Come on, there’s got to be some kind of solution to this puzzle!”

3) Women not being a hive mind.  ”First a woman told me that she likes guys with big muscles.  Then the very next day a woman told me she thinks muscles aren’t attractive at all.  Make up your mind, women!”

4) An individual woman doing something confusing, and instead of asking “why is she doing this now?” men ask “why do women always do this?”

(Source: ethiopienne)

(Reblogged from albinwonderland)

samanticshift:

anti-sj bloggers: omg, why are sjws offended by everything?

anti-sj bloggers: i am deeply offended by your headcanons, your media criticism, your donate button, your mental illness, your lived experience, your “made-up words,” your life choices, and virtually every aspect of your identity

(Reblogged from lgbtlaughs)